The Fat Edge of the Wedge

Ramble Session ON/OFF

Hello Reader of Blogs,

I've seen things, like a dustbin lid floating around in the sea, a man with sellotape all over his face, a cheeseburger with one bite taken out on the floor of a bus and a potato peeler on the supermarket floor. I've read all the stickers and manufacturers information panels on the dentist chair. I know the sizes and dimensions of most popular rivets and other types of popular fixings. When the bread machine is on - you don't have to hide in the cupboard. Great lyrics.

So when I say I've seen things, you have to believe me...although perhaps these are not the sort of things you thought that I meant in the beginning. Luckily, this is the middle (or upper middle). I've never written the script for a horror film, but if I did, it would definitely contain a scene with a severed Giant's toe landing in populated area causing some people to scream and others to lose their appetites (in all senses). Why is there is always something on the floor of the bus, you don't know what it is, but it smells horrible, looks all dark and sticky and always just where you would find it most comfortable to rest your feet. Why do always notice this just before getting off the bus?

I don't know what else to say. Sometimes it is better not to say anything at all. If you are called Nikolas this applies double [do you hear me]. Now that the Spanish Lords are gone, and the estate smells fresher than a double haddock and turnip cake, I feel refreshed and clean. There is gravel in my underpants, as their should be, and nobody says otherwise. If I could be any object in the world, a plimsolls would clearly be low down on the list, not bottom - that would probably be a bottom!

Several times a year, I find it enjoyable to run down the street shouting "they're coming, THEY'RE COMING.." to see if anyone joins in. Usually ends up with me and couple of other freaks getting beaten up by the local yobs. Great fun, but quite painful.

Well, thanks for stopping by and reading this shit.

Keith Doughnut