Digital Asset Management

Hello Readers

I have continued my fight with Mesh with little success so far apart from the fact they have eventually taken the PC back to their factory. I'm actually writing this post with a ZX spectrum 48K. Well actually, it's just lucky that my current PC has kept running...it makes some very peculiar sounds from time to time though. My plan of building a new PC is now on the back burner so to speak. The credit crunch has forced me into making some drastic changes. Humour blogs are great fun and we all like them eh...oh well I like them anyway!

Sadly this blog is just a pile of old trousers with some turnips on the top. I've decided to delete the whole thing and start again. Keith Doughnut is turning over a new fig leaf and starting a venture into digital asset management. Now you might be wondering what a digital asset actually is? If so, allow fat Keith to explain. If you have a computer filled with files these could be classed as documents or digital assets. The files are kept in a repository (all in the same place). To keep track of all the files so that you can find specific data you need either document management software or digital asset management software. There are some software programmes that will do both but not usually as well as specific software for each type of files. It is all about quick acess to digital data. It seems that digital asset management is big business in the world of big business (not dogs business - thats different).

So there you have it...I will now be looking into all aspects of digital asset management tools and systems and writing detailed articles oin the subject. It all began when trying to locate specific digital files on my over filled hard drive. Digital assets can be any type of file including music or sound files such as .wav or .mp3, digital images (or photographs) and illustrations, media (including video clips), slideshows, powerpoint presentations. The main point is that all this important data needs to be managed by applying the correct software solution.

That's me my teas ready...thanks for visiting - its all a little too late but I appreciate you dropping by, thankfully you have landed on my best page. The last page of the last chapter. Please closs the door on your way out.

Cheers (big ears)

Keith Doughnut
Guru of Digital Asset Management (and no mistake)

Mesh Computer Fiasco Continues

hello, I'm Keith Doughnut!

I seem to have the most unfortunate luck with electronics, well actually not just with electronics with everything else as well. My life is similar to a giant “turnip of woe” drifting through outer-space looking for unusual flavours of jam!

I’ve found fame on several occasions in the past but each time my moment in the sun was short lived. This is fine with me because my face turns very red in the sun anyway and to be honest I dislike it when people mistake me for a beetroot. So here we are having a nice chat about which flavour of pot noodle is the best…no that wasn’t it, it was my computer fiasco.

I am now officially involved with a dispute. This means that I have to write lots of important letters to people using fancy words in place of profanity. These letters have to be sent by recorded post so that the recipients at the other end can not just hide in the under-stairs cupboard. I could do this though, if of course I didn’t live in a bungalow. I have tried to get in the cupboard under the sink instead but injured my head on the under-sink plumbing. In addition, I’ve also accidentally licked the outflow pipe from the washing machine and spent several days convinced that I had contracted botulism or typhoid.

I feel quite stressed and anxious about this computer fiasco which is worse by a country mile than the bicycle debacle that preceded it. I’m starting to wonder if buying products at distance is worth the trouble. The foolish pimple faced underpant sniffing gimps at Mesh Computers have caused me to feel quite low going into the New Year. I can’t help imagine some Spotty-Herbert stoned from the night before throwing a computer together with complete nonchalance.

It’s very cold here today.

There is a limit of how much toilet paper that a u-bend can accommodate in one flush. I have included this information in the documentation to my credit card company in the hope that can intervene in my dispute and get my refund sorted out. It was a close thing yesterday…you know when the tide rises almost to the top of the bowl but then suddenly just as you think “oh no” the level suddenly dropped again. If I had used one more sheet of bog-paper we would have needed to get the plunger involved. I omitted this information from my letters to the credit card company but may send it to Mesh Computers later (when the dispute is over) for my own entertainment. Much like the day I spent last week crawling along the floor making rude noises.

This is all that I have to say on this matter.

Keith Doughnut

I’m wearing my anti-static wrist strap – are you wearing yours?

Are Mesh Computers Really as Bad as People Say?

Hello Readers and thanks for interacting with me on this merry day.

Today I want to talk about mesh computers. I last bought a computer from a company called MESH in 2003. They had a really cool website and good reputation for building good quality computers in those days. That same computer with several upgrades and repairs has lasted 6 years. Time has moved on though and I now require a more powerful machine.

Mesh computers have always attracted lots of publicity for poor customer service but I thought this was just angry rude inpatient people mouthing off.

On the 2nd of December I placed an order for a new computer from Mesh Computers. This was a quite exciting experience because the machine contained a new Intel i7 processor. Anyway, Mesh reckoned that they will build and ship my computer in 14 working days. They didn’t.

My computer did arrive on the 30/12/2008 and any great excitement and joy was short lived. The machine was carefully removed from its packaging and stood on the kitchen table for examination. The case was not assembled correctly on the left side. The card reader was pressed in on one side. The case was scratched/marked on the upper right edge. This is all superficial or repairable damage that I could live with if the machine worked.

So I set about the task of re-arranging the office for the placement of the new computer. This took most of the (working day). I have a very complex set up that takes a lot of configuring. In addition, I cleaned the desk and made sure everything was clean tidy. This involved using a cleaning cloth and a vacuum cleaner!

Eventually, I set about setting up the new computer. I am a pessimistic person so only attached the monitor, speakers, keyboard and mouse. The moment of truth had arrived and the machine was switched on for the first time. I held my breath, my face went blue and then the screen flickered into action. I exhaled…

The rest of the afternoon (and early evening) were spent setting up and updating Microsoft Vista. Everything seemed as though it was working although vista was doing its own thing which prevented me doing mine! My first ambition was to set up a network and internet connection. I pressed the button on the optical drive and watched as the tray lazily and jaggedly opened. I carefully placed the software disc in the tray and observed it close the same way it opened. This is where the problems began. The computer’s optical drive did not read the disc. Instead it just made strange noises and vista provided me with its ever present circle of joy. I tried to investigate the situation by opening the task manager and Vista crashed!



I spent several hours trying to get the computer to read the disc thinking that the disc was faulty (although it worked in my laptop and older desktop pc). The disc was clean but I cleaned it anyway and tried it again. It worked – so I eventually set up the network and broadband connection.

I decided to add more software but the same thing happened. Only this time each time I removed the disc there was an area of visible damage on the disc surface. It was at this point that it occurred to me that this computer was a huge shoddy pile of junk and I was about to encounter Mesh’s legendary customer services department. The joy and excitement of buying a new computer had been replaced with disillusioned sadness.

It was now 18:15 in the evening, and with sorrow made a call to mesh to discuss the problems of my computer’s useless optical drive. To my surprise my call was answered rather swiftly by a man with a very strong accent. In fact I could not understand a word that he said. At his point I felt very flustered and out of kilter…somehow we managed to communicate sufficiently so that we both understood the situation. He told me that my computer could be returned and that Mesh would send a complete replacement within 5 working days. This set my mind at rest and I grudgingly began resurrecting up my old computer.

The phone rang and the display showed an “Unknown” number. It was Mesh and it was my indecipherable foreign friend. I have no idea what he said but I’m sure it was just the same as before. A few minutes later Mesh called again and this time my indecipherable foreign friend gave me some information that I had to write down. It was just ridiculous! I have no idea what he was saying and pretty much just agreed by saying “OK” each time he stopped speaking. Afterwards I wondered what was going on!

The next day after a night of turbulent sleep I rang Mesh to investigate the situation. Somehow, I was no longer getting a replacement computer within 5 working days. My computer was going back to base for a priority repair. Is this what I had agreed? I am a quiet man with a placid peaceful outlook on life but at this stage my temper began to fray. It was at this stage that I began to fear for my outlay and requested that they arrange for collection of the defective computer because I wanted a full refund. Any question asked after this point was met with the same response which was basically “you will have to read section 8 and 9 of the terms and conditions”

A refund has to be requested in writing…so I’ve written them a nice letter requesting a refund.

So there you have it…the state of play. I’m back using my old computer whilst Mesh has £1440 of my money. There is a large box with a useless computer parked in my bedroom awaiting collection which I think I have to pay £45.00

I’m not sure whether it is an accurate assessment but I’ve decide that all computer companies are poo. On receipt of my refund I’m going to build a computer myself and may even write a new blog on how to build your own so that other disgruntled consumers can follow me into the world of the unknown.

I’m actually looking forward to the experience and have invested in a pair of long-nose pliers as a gesture of my commitment to this project. I will keep you updated of further developments in this tale of dismal woe, misery and computer building incompetence (by Mesh).

If you have read this to the end you may need to sit in dark room for a couple of hours whilst your brain re-adjusts to normal functionality.

Keith Doughnut
A Shop-Keepers Nightmare