Mesh Computer Fiasco Continues

hello, I'm Keith Doughnut!

I seem to have the most unfortunate luck with electronics, well actually not just with electronics with everything else as well. My life is similar to a giant “turnip of woe” drifting through outer-space looking for unusual flavours of jam!

I’ve found fame on several occasions in the past but each time my moment in the sun was short lived. This is fine with me because my face turns very red in the sun anyway and to be honest I dislike it when people mistake me for a beetroot. So here we are having a nice chat about which flavour of pot noodle is the best…no that wasn’t it, it was my computer fiasco.

I am now officially involved with a dispute. This means that I have to write lots of important letters to people using fancy words in place of profanity. These letters have to be sent by recorded post so that the recipients at the other end can not just hide in the under-stairs cupboard. I could do this though, if of course I didn’t live in a bungalow. I have tried to get in the cupboard under the sink instead but injured my head on the under-sink plumbing. In addition, I’ve also accidentally licked the outflow pipe from the washing machine and spent several days convinced that I had contracted botulism or typhoid.

I feel quite stressed and anxious about this computer fiasco which is worse by a country mile than the bicycle debacle that preceded it. I’m starting to wonder if buying products at distance is worth the trouble. The foolish pimple faced underpant sniffing gimps at Mesh Computers have caused me to feel quite low going into the New Year. I can’t help imagine some Spotty-Herbert stoned from the night before throwing a computer together with complete nonchalance.

It’s very cold here today.

There is a limit of how much toilet paper that a u-bend can accommodate in one flush. I have included this information in the documentation to my credit card company in the hope that can intervene in my dispute and get my refund sorted out. It was a close thing yesterday…you know when the tide rises almost to the top of the bowl but then suddenly just as you think “oh no” the level suddenly dropped again. If I had used one more sheet of bog-paper we would have needed to get the plunger involved. I omitted this information from my letters to the credit card company but may send it to Mesh Computers later (when the dispute is over) for my own entertainment. Much like the day I spent last week crawling along the floor making rude noises.

This is all that I have to say on this matter.

Keith Doughnut

I’m wearing my anti-static wrist strap – are you wearing yours?