Me and My Big Nose

Hey There Cowboy!

Welcome to the only blog on the internet that smells of deep fried dog-mud
My name is Keith Doughnut and I am several inches taller than you. Now you might be wondering how you came to be with this nutty ...nutty ...nutty man! I can only assume that you were surfing the inter-web and typed in a really obscure phrase like "deep fried dog-mud" or you're the crazy troll that reads all my work and sends me pairs of underpants in the post. If you are the crazy sod that sends all the weird stuff please can you remember that I am not really as fat as you think, I have a 32 inch waste (medium). The last pack of boxer shorts you sent me would have fitted a horse, and I can prove this because I took them to a paddock up the road owned by a local riding school where "Blossom" tried them on. Now, they were a little bit snug but I think that I have made my point.

Please just stop it...

I have no idea how you people gained access to my home address in the first place. The brochures were very interesting Geoff, but I have no real interest in the artificial insemination of farmyard animals.

Since my last post I have been punched twice in the gonads by total strangers. The first time was just as I was leaving work just before I got to my car and the second time was just after gaining entrance to Dixons electrical store to return a defective kettle. This is actually below the weekly average for me and hopefully I can keep it this way.

Thanks for dropping by my office. Sadly I have written another post of complete and utter nonsense that will benefit nobody and his three brothers. Once again accept my gratitude for being here to witness how much I have burnt the toast and slipped in the biggest pavement pizza ever measured by human limbs.

Keith Doughnut

A man with one eye on the fire escape!