Doughnut Features has Calmed Down

Hello Readers,

I can only apologise for my behaviour yesterday...believe me, I received a very severe spanking when I got home. (I really did!)

I've finally managed to simmer down after the whole on-line bicycle fiasco that unfolded over the last few days. Luckily it was not a folding bicycle that I was looking for because that would have just made matters worse. I could have ended up doubled up in pain or creased up with laughter. Anyway, controversial as it may be, folding bikes, electric bikes and other re-inventions of bikes are just foolish and a waste of time. There is nothing wrong with the conventional bike and it is time that would-be-inventors take their tools out of their hands and stop re-inventing the bicycle. It is not just on-line bicycle shops that turn my mild mannered happy-go-lucky self worth into a complex raging mentalist, who will stop at nothing until justice has been done. Well, I get a bit cross and write it down on my blog for others to admire, admonish or adjourn.

Digital television is great, hundreds of channels showing the same old rubbish interspersed with two and half minutes of advertising every 4 minutes. I ended up watching scrapheap challenge one fine evening and they were having a "special" competition to design a vehicle that went the fastest without using an engine. I noticed that most of the entries were made from dismantled bicycles and involved pedalling the machine and then cruising whilst their additional bizarre mechanisms failed with abject misery. If someone had entered on a standard bicycle they would have taken the top prize (possibly a free bag of horse manure from the local farm) without spending any time whatsoever on their build. A fine example of a waste of time, effort and horse manure.

Enough.

Keith Doughnut

I'm proud to still have zero stalkers enlisted to my mind blowing utterances. It's going to be strange (one day far in the future) to see that number change to 1. It's going to be really creepy when that happens and I have a stalker/follower reading my blog. Perhaps it will never happen, just to be on the safe side, I've avoided SEO and have not told anyone about this blog. It is top secret so that no weird people can find it. If you have encountered the hairy world of Keith Doughnut Speaks please keep it under your hat. Unless of course you have a very high ranking website then you should post an anchor text rich link back to my incredible blog. Let's face it, a few more post like this one and I will be featured in the Gaurdian and probably head hunted by the BBC, ITV and a hoard of other backwater companies with long haired management staff and upside-down furniture. Front bottoms to you and all those who look like you (that is my motto).