10 Reasons why you Should Bookmark my Blog

Ten superb and interesting reasons why you should add my blog (Keith Doughnut Speaks) to your bookmarks or favourites folder. It's time to stop being a dick and get amongst the blog that stands on the shoulder's of giants. So that it can see the neighbours "spanking" their au pair with an old slipper!

1.Its better than everything else on the entire internet, including flipbook, Spuwie, Space Goggles, Porno Sites, Russian Download Sites, Forums, Forearms, Foreheads and Formic Acid. There is nothing on the internet that tops it. YouPube is the only site that is curly enough to compete with it.

2.Keith Doughnut is unique and literally insane. In the words of advertising slogan writer Murray Walker “Anything can happen and it usually does!”

3.Keith Doughnut needs attention or he goes mute. Adulation [whatever that is] is required or he may fail to speak for months. Then when he does eventually speak all that comes out is half chewed food and spittle.

4.Keith Doughnut is a known to dribble when he speaks. It makes more sense for him to write it all down for you to read. Re-naming the blog Keith Doughnut Writes it all Down (because he spits when he speaks) is possible but unlikely.

5.Keith Doughnut is not fat, unlike most other blogger's who are generally quite large in the middle.

6.Keith Doughnut is fatter than most other blogger's who are generally quite thin due to spending too much time on the internet reading and writing blogs.

7.Keith Doughnut is a liar and a cheat.

8.Keith Doughnut pretends to adore his readers but really he dislikes them all and wishes they would stop reading his blog, leaving inane comments and just go away.

9.Keith Doughnut shakes like a leaf most of the time.

10.Keith Doughnut is fantastic at writing lists.

11.Keith Doughnut can not count! Remember this when he tells you about the stats for his website. Currently getting over 20,000 hits per day. Fame and fortune awaits!

At the moment my top ranking keyword is "spanking" (with quotation marks). You can only imagine the pigs, trolls and lowlife that call by to read my blog. Although all are welcome, some are more welcome than others.

It's getting cold up here on the roof! I'm coming down...

Keith Doughnut

...and don't forget to tell your sister that there is still a golden opportunity to become my first follower!